Eliminated ‘The Bachelor SA’ contestant Mulesa Lumina about why Marc disappointed her

We’re almost at the end of the journey, which means that Marc had some difficult decisions to make on The Bachelor SA. In a brutal and emotional episode, we had to say goodbye to two fan favourites – Mulesa Lumina and Qiniso van Damme.

Mulesa Lumina, who lives in the Eastern Cape, has her Masters in Human Rights Law from the University of Cape Town. She is passionate about female empowerment and believes actions speak louder than words. She was born in the UK to Zambian parents. She also has her own online jewellery business where she designs everything herself.

We caught up with her after her final episode aired to find out what she had to say about Marc, the girls, and everything else.

∼ She was confused as to why Marc kept bringing up Pasha  ∼ 

During her time on the show, Mulesa got close to Pasha dos Santos (who left two weeks ago) and on the mountain biking group date, Marc brought up their friendship. According to Marc’s diary session, he saw similarities between the two and wanted to know if she was easily influenced. When we asked if the friendship was a stumbling block in her relationship with Marc. Mulesa said it seemed like it was for him more than her. She said, ‘I didn’t realise that it was such a big deal until the biking date. And I was very confused as to why that would be something that would be a problem for him.’

∼ She thinks that Marc is afraid of conflict ∼ 

In her final episode, she commented that Marc seems to want a relationship that is devoid of conflict, which she thinks is impossible. When asked if she still thinks this is the case, she said, 100% so, ‘I think Marc is a little bit afraid of conflict. I’m sure he has particular reasons as to why that would be the case. Maybe he’s had past bad experiences that have made him afraid to confront someone who he was in a relationship with. But for me personally, it was a bit strange to hear him say that because I know from experience, I know from seeing my parents and other successful marriages, that conflicts are inevitable. And it’s just about how you decide to work through them.’

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And with that my Bachelor SA journey comes to an end! What a weird, wonderful and exciting chapter of my life this has been. I feel that everything played out as it should have and I feel nothing but relief and contentment. I have zero regrets! I went into this with an open mind; eager to learn about myself and mentally prepared for whatever possible outcome. Although I did not find romantic love, I left having found a profound sisterly love in the friendships I developed with some of the phenomenal queens I met. To all the ladies of Season 2: I respect you immensely for having the courage to do this, I’m in awe of your accomplishments and hope you find or have found partners who cherish you and add value to your lives! To my friends from the house: thank you for making this difficult journey bearable. I love you girls and really can't wait to continue growing our friendship from here! I must also express my gratitude to M-Net and Rapid Blue for giving me the opportunity to put myself out there. I'd also like to thank my friends and family who have been so supportive of me. I'm ecstatic to know that you recognize the woman you've seen on TV and I am so grateful to you for your unwavering faith in me. Lastly, thank you to all #TheBachelorSA fans who sent me such uplifting messages and left such heart-warming comments on my posts and those of my fellow bachelorettes. I am so appreciative of your kindness and hope you are keeping safe and healthy in our difficult circumstances. I could go on and on but that would mean less to share later! Keep an eye on my IG to learn more about my thoughts on how everything transpired in upcoming interviews and a series of posts on my personal blog that I’ll be doing on this journey! #proudlyafrican #bachelorette #chinup #personalgrowth #thebachelor #journeytofindlove #fallenrose #afrocentric #roseamongstthorns #growthzone #lovelife #lifelessons #lovelessons #innerbeauty #bachelorette #singleAF #singleladies #allsmiles #afrochic #brownskingirl

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∼ She often found herself in the position of mediator in the house ∼ 

We often saw on camera that when there was drama in the house that Mulesa took on the role of mediator. She said that was an easy role to fall into because she just wanted everyone to sort out their issues like grownups. She said that sometimes people need a third party to help them resolve their issues. But at times it got a bit much, and she realised she came on the show for Marc, and it didn’t help her to constantly get involved in the drama.

She said that conflict between the 22 women was inevitable but it became emotionally exhausting at times. But she understands why it happened, as everyone was so different from each other. And the minute that emotions start getting involved, clashes are bound to happen.

∼ Watching the show made her more disappointed by Marc ∼ 

Mulesa said watching the show back, confirmed a lot of what she was suspecting when she was in the house. Such as when she saw Marc actively encouraging Marisia to use her white rose, and then Mulesa’s name was on the next date card, which Marisia had ended up stealing. And Mulesa did say on the show, that she thought that that date was originally intended for Marisia all along.

‘It just sort of added to my disappointment because I initially sort of had the feeling that there was something up and then to see it confirmed, you know, watching it back was a huge disappointment for me.’

∼ She is glad that she met the other women and Marc ∼ 

When asked what her highlights were, she said it was definitely meeting the women and Marc:

‘I say that one of my biggest highlights was just getting to meet all the women that I got to share this experience with. I got to meet some very incredible women from all different walks of life who also accomplished and amazing in their own right. And that for me was so sweet. And you make friends with them all. It just was so wonderful. It was so good just to get to know Marc as well. In the beginning, you know, things started off quite well, on a good footing. And we had a lot of great banter. We had a lot of great conversations. And so I will say that my dates with him were good. I really enjoyed the one-on-one time together. It was a lot of fun for me.’

∼ She often found herself in the position of mediator in the house ∼ 

Mulesa is still single but she said for the time being she is focused on her career. She’s not actively searching but she is open to the idea of love coming her way.

She’s planning on moving to Cape Town after lockdown and hoping that the change of scenery might bring about new opportunities. She has her jewellery business, Urban Afro Concepts, and she’s working on a feminist writing project with a friend. So I doubt that this will be the last we hear from Mulesa!

You can watch The Bachelor SA season 2 on DStv Catch Up.

 

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At Parkhurst College, a prestigious inner-city school for Cape Town’s elite scholars and academic overachievers, we’ll follow the exploits of the intelligent, proactive and impulsive 16- year-old Puleng Khumalo, as she engineers her transfer to the school to investigate the 17-year- old cold case of her abducted-at-birth older sister she’s never met.
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Images by @neobaepi @byjono.mov @tegansmithphotography @appster and Miss Hlope